Didn't know how dire the situation is currently, shall pray for the best.

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It's scary when you get old, because you're even closer to biological failure. 
It's not death that's scary, it's growing old, aging, and losing all your basic functions, not being able to move or even breathe.
That's scary. 
Having your life supported by the machine.
That's scary.
To witness yourself failing and returning to being like a child, except that this time round, you have all the awareness all the knowledge to know that you will eventually succumb to god's will, and leave this world.
It's the fact that you have to rely on others, the guilt in having to burden others that makes you hate this situation even more.

It's the fact that you are losing everything you've earned and gained, your fitness, your capabilities, you're not that mighty strong sailor. No more. 

You're the old man you are, to others.
But to me, you will always be that mighty strong sailor. One who has braved the stormy seas.
You're the old lady you are, to others.
But to me, you will always be that loving hardworking mother. One who has tried her very best to provide a warm home for her children.

I can't bear to see you so frail and weak. To see you losing yourself slowly, little by little.
My heart aches for you, I'm sorry.


- Gracia